The Most Fun You'll Ever Have in a Vegas Restaurant

Today I am sitting here, enjoying the warm Canadian sun, which we don't get to enjoy all that often, and I am beginning to daydream. Ah, a nice cold drink would so fantastic right now... and now my mind is beginning to wander to all of the lovely, ice-cold drinks I could possibly have at this moment. Now I am reminiscing about one of the best ice-cold drinks I've EVER had, way back in March during my Spring Break trip to Vegas. You see, it all began like this (insert trippy 'Wayne's World' time travel effect here):

Doing the traditional post outside of the Las Vegas sign

My cousin Marriann and I were coming back from a long day out at Hoover Dam, and were hungry, hot, and tired. However, due to my obsessive-compulsive need to explore a city until every square inch has been covered, I convinced her not to go back to the hotel just yet to relax. We hadn't checked out the plethora of casinos mid-strip, such as Caesar's Palace or Treasure Island, and I insisted they'd be worth it.

At Caesar's Palace we wandered through the casino area, made friends with some gladiators, and did some silly poses with the fake statue of David.

Making new friends at Caesar's Palace

By the time we'd gotten to Treasure Island, we were beginning to slightly regret not going back to the hotel (way down at the other end was our room in the Excalibur). Tired and ever-so-thirsty, we stopped at a quaint, jungle-themed restaurant called Kahunaville. Classy, I know. But it was the best choice considering the fun we had there.

We sat at the bar and contemplated ordering some food, until we saw the bartender make the most fascinating drink I have ever seen right in front of us. It was gigantic, in a glass as big as a cauldron, and was topped with cherries, orange slices, and little umbrellas. Not only that, but it was bubbling. Yes, bubbling. I had to try one.

The mysterious, bubbling drink at Kahunaville, Las Vegas

Our bartender was very accommodating: she put on quite a show for us, twirling and tossing the bottles of various liquors that combined to make our magical drink. She was better than Tom Cruise in "Cocktail" if you ask me.

She even assented to letting me film the show for posterity's sake: I needed proof that I got to witness this feat with mine own eyes! I have included the video, although I had to do a bit of editing as I caught myself cursing in amazement a couple of times... sorry.  I was just so impressed! There's also a cameo of a busty bikini-clad waitress, so if you are sensitive to that sort of thing, avert your eyes!

Our bartender had skillzz!  Don't mind the random bikini waitress...

However, if you are in the mood for some food, and less for volcanic beverages, hit up the Excalibur casino and find Dick's Last Resort. I recommend you go only with adults and never, ever bring a child! This restaurant is raunchy, loud, rude, and crude - and so fun! The waiters are instructed to treat guests like garbage, flinging menus at you, swearing at you if you take too long to decide, and mocking your meal and drink selections. But they are so witty as they do so, you just can't help but laugh. I think the staff has to win a round of "Last Comic Standing" as part of their interview process.

This restaurant is a lot of fun, but definitely not kid-friendly!

The food is great, but it is really hard to concentrate on your meal when you are always terrified that some random waiter is going to waltz by and put a condescending, humiliating paper hat on your head with a crude slogan or drawing splayed across it. Most people in the restaurant end up wearing one, and there are no repeats of hat styles, from what I could see.  The bigger fear was that the 'mascot', Taco, would come by and smush your face up against his belly: I was not lucky enough to escape this fate.

Agh! Accosted by "Taco" at Dick's Last Resort - I look very afraid!

I would love to post on here some of the hat slogans, but I am trying to keep this a family blog, and I have students who read this, so I dare not. Just be creative with the most trashy, immature, dirty thing you can think of, and you know it'll be on a hat in Dick's Last Resort. You just have to go try it for yourself, and no crying allowed!


  1. I went to Dick's in San Antonio and it was raunchy fun! I won't mention what my hat said ;)

    1. Ha ha - I can only imagine! I had to bleep mine out, and my cousin had it worse: they involved her hair as well!